Meet cool thin parents, how to do?
What is a cool thin person?On Zhihu, there is a very poignant answer: “I am more affectionate than anyone else, but I am also more heartless than anyone else. I quit when I see something good, break up when I say it, and withdraw from all kinds of relationships.”Cool thin person looks very hard to distinguish from the appearance, they are having very high emotional quotient, disposition is soft, treat people politely, some popularity is very good still, can discover them only through a few things “warmth” the cool thin below the appearance.There is a middle-aged man of more than 40 years old, successful career, family business quite abundant.When he heard that his old father was suffering from liver cancer, he first went to the doctor for consultation. When he learned that the disease could not be cured, he gave up treatment and took his old father home.Not long after, the old father died.It’s one thing to prolong life if you can do something even if you can do it conservatively, and you can reduce a lot of the pain.He was the coldest man I ever saw, to the man who had given birth to him, let alone to another man.Lu Xun said, “The joys and sorrows of human beings are not connected. I only think they are noisy.”There is no real empathy in the world.But we are willing to choose those who make us feel happy, happy people to get along with, if unfortunately, we encounter this kind of cold thin parents?One, what is cool thin parents speak of cool thin parents, have to say the TV series “all very good” inside the Su Mingyu.Su Mingyu’s mother is after marrying honest wooden mingyu father, encounter first love lover again, old affection rekindle.When she decides to escape from this family and go to Shanghai with her first love to live a yearning life, she suddenly discovers that she is pregnant with Su Mingyu, and Mingyu’s mother is helpless to stay and continue to live a hopeless life.Mingyu’s mother prefers sons to daughters, and her mother hates the way her life has been shaped by her sudden arrival.In the family, she is obviously neglected, not only can not get due love, even the least respect and protection are not, from childhood to childhood, are bullied by the mother’s second brother.At the dinner table, Ming Yu’s mother keeps bringing food to Ming Yu’s brother. Ming Yu looks like an invisible man.Mingyu’s college entrance examination results could have gone to a better school, but her mother chose a more economical normal college for her, stubborn Mingyu suffocated by work-study program to complete the normal university courses.When Mingyu confronts with her mother, the appearance of tearing heart crack lung, really makes a person very heartache, but has not been able to let her mother’s heart warm up some.So-called cool and thin parents, is not natural disposition cool and thin, have choice cool and thin however.Just like Ming Yu’s mother, to Ming Yu’s second brother, small holding in the hand for fear of falling, in the mouth for fear of melting.And to Ming yu that kind of cold to the bone of the cool thin, think of people shudder.Generally cool and thin parents have the following characteristics: indifference.When children need care, especially when they are ill or experiencing setbacks, they do not get the care and emotional support they deserve.Lack of respect and recognition.In ordinary education, there is a lack of basic respect for children.Often scolding and belittling children in front of others, turning a blind eye to their efforts, sometimes taking credit for their success and failing to recognize and encourage their achievements.Be stingy with money.Cool and thin parents are generally very strict with their children in terms of money, and their children are far below their peers in pocket money.All kinds of food, clothing and clothing are worse than their peers, and adolescents will have a sense of inferiority.If the inner world of children is not strong enough, they will feel frustrated and think that their parents treat them differently because they are not good enough.Psychological expert Lee Mi-geun said in her book Psychological Upbringing, Psychological upbringing is more important than material upbringing.After growing up in a family without warmth, Su Mingyu later had a successful career, but in dealing with feelings, worry about personal gains and losses, for the immediate love did not have the courage to seize, and unable to let go, so the feelings of her boyfriend on and off, once almost broke up.Luckily, she met a man full of warmth and a firm hand to lead her out of the swamp of her heart.Xiao Zhen is like a copy of “Su Mingyu”, since the birth of a brother, parents of her attitude to heaven and earth.Father came back from outside, only to buy a snack for my brother, she was covered in the quilt and cried all night.When she was 6 years old, she followed her uncle to visit relatives. She had messy hair and was asked by her uncle, “Why did you come out without combing your hair?” She did not cry, because no one helped her comb her hair.When she grew up, her mother told her she couldn’t get married until her brother graduated from college.It was also because she had to support her brother’s education that she was afraid to change jobs.Her mother often found excuses she couldn’t refuse to demand money remotely, sometimes transferring all the money she had to her mother.When her salary wasn’t paid on time and she didn’t get paid for months, she had to borrow money from colleagues to meet her daily needs.She sometimes tells her parents that her abilities are limited.Her parents always blamed her and wanted to get away from home and enjoy themselves.This makes her very aggrieved, think oneself from childhood to grow up, their parents they again give oneself how much love and care?Three, meet cool thin parents how to meet cool thin parents, to the child’s injury, may use a lifetime to heal.First, embrace your family of origin.We cannot choose our own birth. Due to their own superficial knowledge and limitations, their parents failed to have more awareness and empathy ability, and failed to contribute more to their spiritual construction in the process of growing up.Learn to reconcile with your heart, reduce internal friction, do not take the mistakes of others to punish yourself.Second, correct self-awareness.Don’t blame your parents for all the bad things that happen to you. Blaming them for your lack of social skills, knowledge, and exercise and wallowing in self-pity will only make you miss out on something more.In her book Psychological Upbringing, psychologist Lee Mi-geun said, What is true psychological maturity?It is the ability to deal with complex problems without attributing the cause to the external, but to find the cause within oneself.”Finally, get rid of the negative influence of your parents and take responsibility for your own life.